Sue Me

I found the following on a forum I frequent:


  1. Councils build a playground to create something for the kids to enjoy themselves with.

  2. Someone sues them because their child was running in the playground, fell and grazed their knee.

  3. The council tears down the playground and turns it into a patch of empty land with some trees.

  4. Other councils decide to pull down their playgrounds too out of being sued.

  5. A child then runs into a tree and gets a bump on his head.

  6. The council is sued, so cuts down all the trees in the green area.

  7. Other councils do the same, again out of fear of being sued.

  8. Because the kids find an empty piece of cleared land boring, they decide to play on the road.

  9. A child gets hit by a car while playing near the road.

  10. The parents of the child sue the council for having a road there, and then sue the manufacturer of the car that their child was hit by, and this prompts other parents to sue car manufacturers when their children where hit by their cars.

  11. The council gets rid of the road, and any nearby roads for that matter.

  12. The car manufacturer closes down.

  13. All other car manufacturers close down.

  14. The government decides to get rid of all cars and vehicles, they are simply killing machines which cause people to sue.

  15. No more cars, all roads and motorways have been destroyed because they are too dangerous.

  16. A child playing in the empty patches of land then runs into a building.

  17. The parents sue the council, so the council/government orders for all houses to be fitted with padded walls, floors, ceilings and outer walls, and rooves.

  18. The sueing cycle continues, all household appliances are destroyed, all weapons destroyed, all planes, helicopters, boats, computers (people do get RSI and bad backs, so someone sued the chair manufacturer and, for that matter, the computer manufacturing industries), every manufactured item, everything that can cause harm, even if it is natural, all gone, wiped off the face of the earth. All houses are destroyed because manufacturers are being sued.

  19. Finally, the government and the actual court is sued for allowing such a miserable quality of life to develop. Even the equipment used to destroy all equipment and manufactured items is destroyed.

  20. The earth is now an empty place. There is nothing in sight, simply a padded floor - no obstacles whatsoever. There are no trees, just people and animals walking around the blank face of the earth.

  21. Everyone and all animals die because there is no more oxygen from trees. The end.



The unending increase in people suing one another for stupid reasons bugs the crap out of me. I'm sure we all remember the woman who sued McDonalds after scalding her mouth on a hot cup of coffee (would she have sued because it was cold had it not been hot?), and the more recent case of a group suing several fast food chains because they believed their products were making them fat, not to mention all the cases of criminals suing for lost earnings and such.

Can someone please explain to our justice system that they should be at least trying to use a bit of common sense. The thinking should be something along these lines, surely: a burglar, who was trying to steal from someone, is suing for lost earnings, because he injured himself while trying to enter someone else's house. If he wasn't trying to break the law by breaking into the house of an honest citizen, he wouldn't have been there, and therefore wouldn't have been injured. As for his earnings, well, he makes his living by stealing from others, i.e. breaking the law. Hmm, what should we do? Well, locking them away for an extra year for being a cheeky sh*t should do. Next case.

Unless you're talking about something way out of the ordinary, I don't think you should be allowed to sue for any everyday occurrence. By that I mean, being scalded by coffee, unless, say, the container was faulty and split, or tripping on a pavement slab. If you tripped up the stairs, or on your front doorstep, you wouldn't sue yourself, nor would you expect anyone visiting to sue you. It was an accident, carelessness by the person who tripped to be honest, and so it should be with more general issues. Maybe they should apply thinking along the lines that, would they be suing if this happened in a private residence? If not, bin it.

Incidently, if you doubt my reasoning, check out the True Stella Awards.

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